Fakta 20

Things that spreading vastly all over our social networks. Been tagged by few people, and just thinking that posting it on instagram is just too public so i chose to put it here instead :D

So here,#20factsaboutme

1. I was nurtured in all girls siblings, no guys (except my abah ofcourse) in family until i reached my 19 yrs old with an abang ipar sulung. Born in Johor, grown up for 5 years in Edinburgh UK and now reside in JB. Will be a kelantanese soon bila my dad already pencen. Lama lagi kot lol

2. 3 older sisters and 3 younger sisters thus resolving me to be a semi kakak by 6 years gap and semi adik by 3 years gap

3. Hence, i am quite reckless towards man/guys/lelaki. I just dont know how to handle them, so i have my own way for it (which i think proven to be a fatal since many had been hurt because of my recklessness lol) 

4. 21 and currently still believing that having a guy as a close friend is unnecessary, so as having him as a special friend is your first door to a disastrous life. 

5. Loving debate but already stopped doing it, i rather love to be a trainer 

6. I lost that transition point of my dad commuting Malaysia-Overseas. And currently abah is in Papua New Guinea. Frequent penumpang lebuhraya langit. Malaysia-USA tu macam JB-Kelantan 

7. My utmost dislike is cooking, and other housechores

8. Haha but no worries, disliking doesnt mean you tak reti buat, or tak buat. Just, tak suka

9. My recent ambition is to be a lecturer. Hehe

10. You can soothe me by handing me an icecream. You can silent me (when im boiled into unreasonable anger) by buying me that. Serious talk

11. But ofcourse i have my specified brands of icecream huahua. Haagen Daaz is heavenly heaven with its caramel and pecan. Coldstone icecream which i had at Namsan Seoul Tower is marvelling with its chocolate mint and vanilla. Baskin Robbin however is defeated by it. Anyway icecream jual tepi jalan kat syarie' jamiah still sedap lah serious. And icecream beli dalam tube kat mall pun sedap je aku takdelah being that demanding haha okay dah. 

12. And, what calms me down when i'm distressed out of anything is icecream #icecreamunderstands (kahkah cakap pasal icecream pun dah 3 points nampak sgt takde idea) 

13. I'm quite oblivous towards hints and mixed signals. So to be straight forward without steering elsewhere is better. 

14. You cant photograph me without me noticing 

15. Failure after a drenched out struggling is worth, though it is hard when it comes to acceptance and redha

16. Known as a bookworm girl. Well, i doubt that actually. 

17. However, just to list my recent favourites. Khaled Hosseini, Mitch Albom are authors whom no one can ever deny. Apart from that, i'm engaging well in psychological type of books, life and love philosophies, conflicts and world crisis

18. Unfortunately i cant blend in into political matters and issues. 

19. During past few months, i realize my weakness is to comprehend music notes. Hehe at least i found something which can buzz me (and others) that everyone has their own limits. So why bother envying over others' capabilities and discontent for what we have? 

20. Finally, i am quite unbearable. Annoying to some extent. My friends describe me as 'bila annoying takde siapa boleh kalahkan dan bila serious takde sapa boleh lawan' 

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Done! And for sure there're some facts i prefer to keep it bottled and concealed. These 20 are mere (and trivial kot aku rasa) facts revolving me and my life. 

Till then (: 

Another one

Suddenly it's August 16th again. 

For my past 21 years, Alhamdulillah. 

Happy birthday, nadiyah. 

Tak salah nak marah

Walau silap mana seseorang itu pada kita, it is never a license for us to say harsh words to them. 

Walau dosa orang tu setinggi mana pun dengan kita, it is never permissable for us to hurt them even more

Sebab kalau macam tu, whats the difference between us and them?

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Aku faham ego seorang manusia, lebih lagi lelaki. Pantang dicalari sedikit. Tapi aku tak pernah percaya yang ego perlu dimenangi mengatasi rasional dan logik. 

Aku faham. 

Sebab aku belajar menjadi aku yang sekarang, melalui proses yang sangat sakit iaitu penjinakan ego diri yang melangit.

Ego,

Tak pernah menjadikan kita mulia.

Kalau macam tu cara kau bercakap ketika kau marah, kau tengah fed up, kau tengah bengang, then i would say you are such a fake. You're just pretending beneath the you that you decided to portray to people

Betul lah. Ujilah akhlak seseorang ketika marah.

Semalam aku tenang.

Hari ni aku marah. 

Tapi aku tak boleh luah pada manusia, sebab aku dah janji pada diri sendiri. I only have this space with me. 

---

If you cant control your anger over a woman who seems to piss you off out of your limit, you will never be a man. 

Say what? Yes. 

Boleh marah, tak salah. Sebab apa yang orang tu buat pada kau memang menyakitkan hati. Hati kau rasa dicarik. Tapi kenapa kau kena rendahkan martabat kau dengan mengasari dan lebih kasar dalam berbicara? Aku tak boleh brain. 

Sekarang,

Bukan masalah salah orang pada kita.

Ini tentang,

Silap kita pada diri sendiri.

Ego membunuh rasionalisasi. 

Dan itulah kesilapan abadi. 

--

Nadiyah,

6 Syawal. 

Syawals

Aidilfitri 1435; Alhamdulillah. 

Selamat Hari Raya :D

Satu ucapan diucap tulus dan mesra, 

Ingin dikhabarkan betapa aku tak lupa, 

Meski dalam bicara bisu kita. 

Taqaballah minna wa minkum. 

--

Langit yang sama kita dinaungi,

Cahaya suria yang serupa kita diterangi,

Walau jarak dan masa membatasi.

Nadiyah,

1Syawal1435H

Be kind

A simple act of kindness will simply capture one's heart. 

Thank you :) 

First step

The first step is always the hardest. But once you capture the pace, you own the rhythm. 

The first step is always confusing. Either you do it for the sake of people, yourself or for Allah. But once you start to stride upon the path, the puzzled intention will eventually be shown. 

The first step is always tiring. Hesitance is blurring the actual image of standing up straight and move on. But once you triumph over the reluctancy, you'll be more than blessed for not even declining your initial will. 

The first step, is always doubtable. Will you ever go far, or how far will you persist towards a place you've been dreaming for all this time? How to wend the journey after the first step has been taken? 

All those uncertainties are completely mystifying. You're puzzled. Bewildered. 

Only then a cue pops out, 

No matter what, 

If the first step is not taken, 

You,

Wont even going anywhere

Near or far,

You wont.

Remember? 

A baby's smile and giggle when finally able to stand on their own, and successfully begins to walk. And once they already had their first step, they just cant stop walking. They are just fully overwhelmed to the fact that they can step on their own! Well nothing weird. That's one of their growth development and indication. 

Remember the smile? 

To be courageous enough to take the first step, 

Is always, 

A sign that we're growing up. 

And jogging your memory a bit; 

The baby,

Was once, 

You.

------

Sitting by the window,

A calm evening. 

Meant to be here, 

And meant to be anywhere Allah decides me to.  

10 Ramadhan. 

Ramadhan

Tazkiyah. 

Ramadhan 1435H

Let the battle, begins (: 

Rants #2

http://youtu.be/P7D3NMhWYeM

This week has been really dull for me. I dont really know why, but i was feeling really alone, sedih and too drowned with unknown feelings. Perasaan taknak bangun bila dah pagi, perasaan taknak tidur bila dah malam. My life is questionable. 

Dan hari ni ada carboot sale Ramadhan For Syria under Ikram4Syria. It was held kat bawah rumah. Rumah bawah (Irsal) jadi port utama, kat laman bawah untuk lelaki dan perempuan beli belah, and rumah aku untuk solat, rehat, makan etc. 

Time breakfast, berbual dengan kak um. After few minutes, kak um tanya, whether aku okay or not sebab nampak macam tak okay. Entahlah. Yeah, entahlah is what you replied when you seem not okay without even knowing whats even wrong with you. 

Sampailah cerita pasal cuti tak tahu nak buat apa yada yada, and kak um cakap "hm awak rasa tahun lepas lagi best and tahun ni kosong dan lonely sebab ada kakak awak kot" 

Oh goodness.

Thats something. 

You know, that difference between friends, and sisters. 

---

Ps; august ni nak balik ke tak? 

Tears

And it spoke in thousand silent ways. 

It knew all our subtle nuances. 

Knew very well of every and each twitch and flicker that ever rippled across. 

Biarlah sedih kita, 

Menjadi satu pahala buat kita. 

Biarlah gembira kita,

Bukan lubang dosa buat kita.

Allahumma inni 'azubika minal hammi wal hazan

290514

Amman. 

Congrats kawan

Bismillah. Assalamualaikum (: 

Alhamdulillah. Done with finals for the 2nd sem of my 3rd year studies. Now, cuti and then start summer sem. Lepas tu, cerita balik ke tak balik malaysia letak tepi dulu. Huu. 

And alhamdulillah. Mursyid and Maryam, akhirnya; solemnized their marriage here in Irbid. So i'm feeling like posting something about them, here (: 

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"Nadiyah, so itulah ceritanya. I'm engaged. And kte akan kahwin 23 May ni" 

"Huh? Ookayy.. And if only that was true, dengan siapa?" 

"Tak troll ni weh. Serius. Dengan Ahmad Amilin" 

"With the middle name?" 

Angguk. Dan senyum. 

**btw. Nasib baik aku tahu nama Mursyid tu ada nama Amilin kat belakang tu. Hah

Tuhan, Tuhan jelah tahu betapa speechless aku time tu. Maryam (i addressed her as Kimo) balik Malaysia di tengah2 semester sebab ada masalah kesihatan, and bila dia touch down Irbid semula, Kimo banyak kali seru aku jumpa dia. Serius aku ingat dia nak update pasal health condition dia. Haha. Sekali, ni memang over. Lulz. 

Dan aku tak boleh lupa, air mata dan ketawa once Kimo cerita pasal engagement, marriage etc. yep, air mata.  Oh and yeah, aku panggil kes diorang ni, tunang paksa kahwin rela. Kahwin terlebih rela. Haha

Esoknya, pergi Amman dengan Kimo, jadi accompany setia untuk pergi check up. Oh and tolong pilih hadiah kahwin. Awkward plis. Sepanjang hari kami cerita tentang hidup, masa lalu dan masa depan. Sejujurnya, sejak tahu berita Kimo ni, aku jadi sangat, sangat sangat berhati-hati dalam berkata-kata dan berfikir. Alah macam, the last few moments to give the best for our friend lah gtu kot. 

Dan aku selalu cakap;

"Kimo, you got to appreciate me sementara ada masa" 

Dan lepas tu biasanya dia buat muka. Haha. Memories. 

Hahaha kay, ni kelakar. 

15/3/2014; tarikh mereka dua bertunang. Mursyid kat Jordan Maryam di Malaysia. Aku rasa kalau akal kritikal ada bersama bila scroll instagram tu, memang akan perasan jelah scene ni. 

"Ni upload gambar sama sama dengan tarikh sama ni korang nak announce kat budak permai ke macam mana?" 

"Eh biar lahh instagram i untuk insta significant event whattt" 

Entahlah. 

Memang pelik sebenarnya bila aku dan kimo sangat rapat. Aku bukan team pimpinan, bukan ahli rumah dia etc yang memang logik jelah nak rapat tahu segala rahsia pun. Well, cerita kenapa ktorg boleh rapat pun kelakar. Thanks jugaklah kepada mursyid dan sorang lagi tu kan. Lolol. 

Dan apa yang aku boleh tulis, aku sangat sedih sebab aku tahu everything will be completely different after this. I have 3 married sisters, i know how things will differ a bit. Hm. Ni baru kimo kahwin. Kalau liyana ke ili ke, husna or jannah yang kahwin taktahulah panjang mana pulak aku membebel kat sini. Hahaha

Anyway anyhow. 

I do happy for her. For eventually finding the right person to live with for eternity. They do deserve each other. Alhamdulillah.

Congrats kawan. 

Hati yang tersentuh bila randomly kimo whatsapp "nadiyah, doakan, doakan kte kuat" or "apa ni nak kahwin dah akuuu" or "takut lah nadiyah, serius takut. Kejap lagi lepas asar nak buat official announcement" or "banyak hati nak kena jaga bila macam ni" 

Conflicts and chronicles. 

Aku faham. 

Dan kimo sangat kuat sebab berjaya melalui ini semua. 

Congrats kawan :") 

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Dan kepada yang tanya bila aku punya turn pulak tu, bawak bawaklah bersabar. Mana ada hukum dalam dunia yang kata bila kawan kahwin kita kena kahwin. Enough lah, jadi jadi lah tu provocations ye (: 

---------------

Congrats kawan. 

Congratulation for your new life, i'll always pray for you. You already embark a new journey and path, may Allah bless every steps. Insyaallah. Tapi for sure lah awak bahagia aman damai kan sekarang? Luls

Barakallahu lakuma wa baraka alaikuma wa jama'a bainakuma fi khayr

Nadiyah, 

250514

And may fate fares me better, 

May fate fares us better, 

Insyaallah

Motivasi agung

Malam ini di group whatsapp batch. Ili baru keluar dari gua exam beliau, so aktif lain macam sikit. Haha. 

Dan bila baca caption ili, dengan gambar yang dihantar.. Allah. Boleh gugur rasa air mata ni. 

Syurga.. Seperti taman.. Ada teduhan.. Ada sungai yang mengalir... Tak panas tak sejuk.. Ada dipan-dipan yang terhampar.. Boleh petik buah yang pokoknya rendang.. 

And to get those incomparable valuable priceless ni'mah, we must pay the price.

Dan Tuhan kata, 

Di syurga nanti, golongan mukmin akan berkata, "segala puji bagi Tuhan yang menghilangkan daripada kami kesedihan kami" 

Udkhuluuha faqul salaaam (:

Salaamun 'alaikum bima sobartum 

Sungguh,

Syurga itu

Motivasi agung

Agar kita

Takkan pernah

Berputus asa

Rampasan bahagia

I dont know why i'll keep saying sorry upon every personal entries i'm posting. It's not like i seem to broadcast my life stories to the entire universe, yet please agree, sometimes you just need some spaces to pen whats been happening. I, am trying to limit this. 

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Malam yang dingin, pegang dada, bicara dengan hati. Rasakan angin yang bertiup lembut, pejam mata, lapangkan fikiran. 

Tapi, yang satu itu, tetap tak mahu berganjak daripada minda. 

Kau dah bahagia sekarang kan.

Mungkin inilah sebenarnya yang kau cari selama ini.

Selama tempoh aku di sisi, kau selalu runsing, serabut dan tertekan.

Memang aku bukan kawan yang terbaik untuk kau, kan

Bila begini,

Aku nampak kau bahagia.

Walaupun kau kata kau tak minta perkara jadi begini,

Tapi bahagia itu aku kira, kau rasainya.

Dan kali ini,

Definisi bahagia yang bagaimana,

Mungkin kau dah tak perlu tentukan,

Bahagia ialah, hidupmu sekarang.

Pergilah kawan, pergilah mencari diri.

Dan aku cuma mahu kau tahu,

Bila bila mahu kembali, tangan aku akan ceria menyahut,

Walau bersama duka dan luka,

Sedih dan kecewa.

Mungkin aku akan rindu,

Kau yang akan cari aku bila sedih.

Kau yang akan cari aku bila gembira.

Kau yang akan cari aku bila, bila-bila. 

Dan,

Mungkin juga salah aku,

Yang tak pernah mampu memberi perhatian, kasih sayang dan cinta sepertimana yang diberi oleh dia,

Yang kurang peka akan keadaanmu.

Salah aku, aku sedar. 

Nyata kini, peluang untuk aku tertutup rapi,

Atas hadirnya insan itu bernama lelaki.

Jika kau kata aku tak faham apakah itu perasaan yang kau sedang rasai,

Aku sangat faham, aku juga perempuan yang punya rasa. 

Cuma atas kadaran kehidupan yang berbeza,

Aku pilih untuk alokasi rasa itu pada kotaknya yang istimewa. 

Pada penerimanya yang masih, misteri, aku kira. 

Aku hormat, dan aku redha. 

Tapi, aku juga manusia. 

Akhirnya, Nadiyah Syahira juga seorang perempuan; rupa-rupanya. 

Rampasan bahagia; 

160414

April's serendipity

"Stumbles upon something truly wonderful, especially while looking for something entirely unrelated"

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Punyalah pemalas nak type. Main screenshot je. Asal boleh hihi. 

Hanya tahun ini, yang aku pilih untuk bersikap terbuka dan bercerita pada mereka. Sebab, aku rasa ini masanya untuk aku evaluate diri aku, setelah 4 tahun. 

From Husna

Yep, it's a re-birth indeed :)

From Arina.

Semoga apa yang aku nak sebenarnya, tercapai. I dont care dengan siapa i would end up with, it is me who will decide and chart my journey. 

And lastly, wish yang paling rasa nak kasi lempangan korea. Hahaha. From Jannah. 

Ini tahun terakhir aku untuk celebrate this date. Aku akan ingat, still. Tapi memilih untuk move on from being hooked up from the past for too long. Bukanlah selama ni aku tak move on, tapi to be honest aku kadang kadang masih terkesan dan sedih. 

Aku takkan lupa.

My April's Serendipity.

An 'unlucky' event that shapes who am i now. May the path and quest, shall converge, forever and always. 

Thank you Allah, for this convergence. 

Cling my heart onto you, eternally. 

And i'm happy now, alhamdulillah :)

Jalan yang lurus, kian berhala

If it is meant for us, it will eventually find its own way towards us. Although there will be many detours, diverted roads and divergences, Allah still will steer it to us. Along the journey, as time goes by, we might feel that it seems way too far from us. Lost by sight, lost by heart. 

Worry not.

Have faith. 

The light in the end of the tunnel is there, we are just yet to see it. For each darkness, there will be a spark of light. So do this. 

Have faith. 

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Pejamkan matamu, untukku

Dengarlah dunia berkata-kata

Usah kau ragu di sini tempatmu

Walau berubah, di mata kita, tetap indah

Selagi kau masih percaya

Kecewa, tertawa, terpisah

Jalan yang lurus kian berhala

Adakah semua ini yang ku inginkan

Ataupun hanya mengejar dunia, semata-mata

Ku harap kau masih percaya

Buka matamu,

Kita bersama, masih muda, masih mentah

Ku harap kau masih percaya

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Preparing to ace another 9th April in life, how was i? How am i? 

Jalan yang lurus, kian berhala.

Tapi aku percaya, setiap halaan akan mendorong ke arah lurus itu

Pilih, 

Dan percaya. 

A real true winner

It could eat you up

If you're trying to keep it all inside

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This semester is an insufferable boreness. I could hardly grasp any excitement and joy through all the learnings and so. Yet kita sebagai muslim, akan try to seize every moments we've been bestowed upon untuk lalui hidup dengan sebaiknya. Biarlah bosan macam mana pun, asalkan Allah redha dengan nafas ini. 

Hence the result. Hahaha. 

Saying to self, takpelah; this is what you called hidup ini ibarat roda. And this peculiar moment is for me to kena lenyek dan hempap dengan keadaan di bawah. Sakitnya sungguh priceless. Yet still, life will teach you thru the hard way. And i am obliged to learn it from the real hard way. 

And since today is the day of the SPM result announcement, i ought to remember my certain few lines to soothe my friends with their results. Aku pernah kata, 

Kita bukan gagal, kita cuma belum berjaya. Life has more to offer, lebih lagi daripada sekadar keputusan di atas kertas. Life is a journey. And the moment bila kita kuat nak bangun once we stumbled upon 'failure', then time tu lah kita ialah the real true winner. The real value of being manusia. How kita respon terhadap kesedihan dan kesakitan. Itulah yang akan membentuk, who we are. 

Towards being a real true winner. 

Bangun nadiyah, bangun. 

Anyways.

Thanks to you, for dedicating this song once upon a time. Listening a song to its max volume is to refrain self from crying. Heh.