Nearly striking 25 years of living, I’d always chart a conscious mental imagination on how I would prefer my day/life to turn to be.
Prior sitting for a big exam in high school, I’d display an imaginary timeline on what my life would be like if I secure the coveted straight As and getting a scholarship.
Prior graduating and during my race against time in completing my thesis, I’d furnish the mental supplement to my mind on how eased and settled my life would be if I get the work done in the given deadline.
Prior going through a big event where I was assigned a specific function, I’d picture first how the day would be and already mustered preliminary strength and mental preparation to encounter a bad day.
Prior exploring the work life, I’d imagine myself being in the position and attempted to steer the path as to swerve any unpleasant hill or unfavorable fork.
And somehow that is what drives me forward and how I survive my day-to-day life.
Of course in those unfortunate days, I will feel dejected because the day or the dream didnt unfold the way I hoped it to be. But the very least, I already prepare myself a threshold of what could be said as a bad day and a good day. (Fyi bad days happen a lot and I just went for an icecream binge or the treadmill to sweat the problem off- temporary solution I know haha)
But
You know
One thing that I can never, ever, chart an imaginary picture in my mind is how I would be if I ever get married
Whenever the topic ventured, my mind seems to be blocking it and refuse to decipher a syntax of what it usually capable to do. Nevertheless, as the day drew closer, the mind somehow can assimilate to the idea and adapt the reality
And we are today. The day my mind has no choice but to accept that this is the whole new world for it, for me, for my partner, and for everyone.
Who is the guy? I spare it later for the next post I think. I got questioned a lot, to which the FAQs can be summarized into 2 words: “Why Him?”
Up till now, I still cant imagine how I will be in the new world. I sensed a smell of fear, of course. I always got scared of not being able to be the best. That is my daily struggle. But marriage is different. Which, is an issue as well. Because it is not something that my self is accustomed to, everyday.
I know life will be much different, and in a way, much profound and wonderful after this. Say Amen.
I pray to God to cleanse my heart of any incarnated evil, and I pray may this life is filled with bless and happiness, as this is what my next stage is seeking for.
Someone’s definitely sleepy tomorrow. It’s 2:40 am now zz
Till then,
Puan Nadiyah, in few hours; who has successfully burnt a (tiny) hole on the veil while ironing it just now.
Well yea I tried to convince myself that it is really a tiny hole. Haha
And the fact that it is Orked’s, haha iDie.
Nadiyah and drama is indispensable, inseparable. Lol.
Night.
