Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Coveted space of memory

People can be sentimental over everything. Anything that encapsulating a good fond memories of their life. Perhaps it doesnt confine only to the good recollections, any unfavourable events which logically people would just erase it out of their life, unplug everything they could have, but somehow those memories are the only valid claim of a version of theirselves that they had been, which what makes them who they are now. 

Last night abah sent this to the family group. I somehow can relate to the feeling of having recollected by those past moments of living in Edinburgh. Just as I felt that Jordan is the witness of mine, although many years had elapsed but still the fond attachment to the land that once we had stepped on which perhaps is the one of those checkpoints of creating the future. So i can resonate the feeling well, which i know it will be incomprehensibly unclicked to other people. 

Abah must have been very reminisced during his stay in Edinburgh now. To be who he is today, that Scottish land sealed the struggles and sweats. I believe that every inch he paces is evoking sweet thought of the past days there. 

Edinburgh. Where my childhood begins. 

Saturday, September 12, 2015

The hijrah #1

I am recently updating from Kemaman, Terengganu. Tomorrow I'll be having my first interview in Kuala Terengganu. Yes ladies and gentlemen, you hear me. My very first interview. And yes. It is being held in KT. 

Since my arrival in KL 2 months back, all that i'm doing is having my self blanketed with all the leisures i can get at home. Spending time with umi, since umi is on her unpaid leave, babysitting the nieces and also doing housechores (except cooking). Yes, except cooking. You hear me once again. When was the last time i had myself holding senduk to tumis? Entah. Haha. 

I dont know why i even brave myself to agree, and take the 8hours bus ride, getting prepared for the interview wayy far from home. 

These recent weeks i was not in my ideal and stable emotional basis. I distanced myself from everyone near me. Except for few friends that i couldnt even in the first place creating the miles in between us because of family matters. Sudden distaste for social networks. I refuse to be present. My indulgence in everything that seems to be my interest before turn to be the ultimate mundaneness. Apart from being clouded by the future endeavours, the passionate feeling to pursue anything in life is like being ejected out of me. For the reasons i couldnt fathom. 

Being lectured by abah and umi, its my daily staple diet. So. This stipulating crisis of mine doesnt seem to find exit. 

And that is how my current presence in Kemaman. Dont ask me why, i also dont know what i am doing right now.

Ps; i am reachable through whatsapp and this blog. I'll update more insyaallah. 

Pss; i hope i'll get back on track sooner. It suffocates me sometime. But another time, to be drowned suffices self-satisfactory more. 

Till then! 

Hm nak jawab apa interview esok ni..